How can I stop being so emotional?

I find it hard to have small conversations about emotions without crying, I struggle to keep relationships, I do everything alone and only sometimes I get upset when I’m alone
Asked by Monica
Answered
11/04/2022

It sounds like there are a lot of emotions going on inside you that need to be expressed in a safe, confidential space where you can articulate your feelings and move through the overwhelm of the emotions, expressing themselves in tears.   I wonder what is in those small conversations that are making you cry?  Is it the conversation subject, the people around you, how they talk about the subject, their tone, or behavior?  It could be many factors that are impacting you to remain centered.

Emotions can run deep and the pattern of 'struggling to keep relationships' keeps arising.  How is your relationship with yourself? From what you said, you are 'upset when alone, with yourself.  What is it about being alone that is upsetting?  Have you ever experienced alone time as being calm, and positive, when was this time and what has happened since for you not to feel the same way?  It sounds like a loss of self, to connect and be content with just being on your own, or being you. 

How do your thoughts present themselves?  Are they negative, harmful, critical, or judgmental? Would you say these thoughts to a friend in need?  Do you challenge or reflect on your thoughts, giving air to a new perspective, a new way of looking or feeling about a situation, person, or circumstance or do they remain the same as they present themselves to you?  Thoughts dictate our emotions so being aware of them is part of remaining balance within yourself.

Through the counseling process, you can begin to understand where these emotions originate from to start developing a relationship with yourself, then the external relationship with others will follow.  It is an inner journey rather than an external one to remain resilient and stable, with or without others around you.

I work to help you identify what is upsetting you.  This can take the form of looking into the past, but at your own pace.  It does take time but, in time you become more aware of who you are and how you relate to yourself and everyone else.

Hope this answers your question.