How do I build a good relationship with my spouse's family?

Hi Rose,

It sounds like there may be some differences or there had been some disagreements during the time that you were living with your boyfriend's family and unresolved conflicts. Living with another family can be difficult due to having to adjust your own living style with the new members you live with. It can be a difficult transition to move from one home to another which can cause conflict in various situations such as company coming over, how to clean, when to clean, cooking, space, sharing common areas, things that may seem simple and small but can really affect the relationship you have with a family you move in with. 

The relationship itself can be difficult and tested at times due to moving in with a new family. It sounds like there is some resolution by you being able to move out soon. The distance and boundaries you can then recreate and instill can help to better that relationship with the family. However depending on how bad things had gotten depends on yourself and if you feel the relationships are worth mending and fixing. This is not an easy process, this can take time and may not be as fast as you would like. However building a good relationship is something that can be worked on and worked towards. The effort that you want to put in is also an important factor. If it is important to you then it can be done. Time and distance plays an important role in the repair portion of healing. 

Therapy can help with this process by allowing you to share your thoughts and feelings about the situation and what you have experienced. Then you can learn various ways to implement healthy boundaries between you and the family members as well as creating an open communication that can help you feel heard and understood. This is not an easy process and both parties have to be open to communication and understanding. However don't lose hope, repair in any relationship can be there if you feel it is important to yourself. Whatever you choose know that there is additional support you can receive when getting started with therapy.