How do I deal with sexual guilt?

I’m a single female and I’m struggling not to feel guilty after casual hookups but I enjoy what’s happening at the time. Any advice on how to deal with this?
Asked by Female
Answered
12/05/2021

You raise a great question. What is guilt in your mind? What is your experience of it? Questions to ask...Are my decisions to have sex consistent with my values and life priorities? Is sex a choice or a need? What is the function of sex in your life? When you answer these questions with curiosity, not judgment, you will have a better grasp of the issue as it relates to you. As you process, this question remember you are a woman of value! 

What is guilt? Wikipedia says it is feeling responsible or regretful for a perceived offense, real or imaginary. Can be part of the grief reaction. Usually is experienced if your actions are not consistent with your personal values.

COMMON CAUSES Guilt can be normal and is only an indicator of underlying disease when feelings become excessive, all-consuming, and interfere with daily living. Otherwise, it is an indicator that something is wrong and needs to be addressed.

Once you grasp the meaning of guilt you can answer the other questions and determine is sex as you experience it,  a choice or a need. Let's explore the need as a form of avoidance of other issues or of control. Many men and women who suffer from sexual trauma commit to never being in a situation they they are not in control. Is this you? Does the belief you need to be in control feel true to you?  Is your sexual expression a need? An obsession with sexual thoughts, urges, or behaviors that may cause distress or that negatively affects health, job, or relationships. This is a form of dependence and is a function of something else and a form of bondage.

 What is the function of your sexual expression? Adventure....... anxiety reduction........control? 

Each of your answers indicates of different course of action. I encourage you to talk to a counselor to address your responses unless the function of your sexal expression is adventure........ then as long as you are taking precautions enjoy and realize you are not doing anything wrong. You can work on changing your beliefs that create the feelinbgs of guilt. 

You matter and how you value yourself and the live you live,  is the greatest priority in maximizing your potential.  In each action you take and decision you make, once you make a decision the decision makes you. This is why you have to follow the values you desire to live by. Sex can be an integral part of a meaningful relationship or more for fun or sport. What does it mean to you? What is it's function? Adventure? Avoidance? 

(LISW, LCSW, LICDC)