How do I do inner work to free myself of codependency and abandonment issues?

Hello and Welcome.

I am so grateful that you reached out and asked this very important question. I congratulate you for trying to help yourself. I understand how uncomfortable it feels to have someone tell you lies, and it feels even worse when it is someone you love. 

You mentioned that this relationship is different. Please tell me, what is different that you want to work it out?. When we enter into a relationship that is toxic we are connecting on the toxicity and not truly knowing a person. How long did you take to get to know him?

You mentioned in the post "think I just realized that my issue might be that I crave love? And I want to be normal in that regard so I really hate it; It is the one thing I have wanted for as long as I can remember and everything just ends the same way." Did this person offer you a sense of love or attention even if it was negative? It is frustrating to want to communicate with him and then he shuts down. This appears to be a classic case of 'emotional overload.' Emotional overload is defined as-having conflicting feelings, too many feelings happening at once, or not being able to act based on your gut feelings. Emotional overload can sometimes happen when one or both partners are experiencing depression, anxiety, or emotional unwellness. 

I am feeling your words and I am deeply connected to how you are feeling. The first step to working through co-dependency is understanding your reason for this type of attachment, processing what you are actually getting out of it, understanding that this is not healthy, and working towards meeting your unmet needs. This individual or partner is not capable of providing you with what you are seeking. 

You are worth so much more than being unhappy. I want to offer you a chance to speak more about your feelings because they matter to me. You deserve a right to be heard about everything that is hurting you and I am here to listen.