How do I feel like I belong/am connected to people?

Hi NN! Thank you so much for bringing this valuable question to the BetterHelp "Ask a Licensed Therapist" forum! It is so great to see that you are reaching out for support at this time. I really appreciate you asking this important question about how to stay connected to others and renew a sense of belongingness in your life! I can tell that it is a great strength of yours to be able to feel close with your friend group and be truly vulnerable in the moments with your friends! This behavior absolutely speaks to your resiliency. What are some other strengths and qualities that you have?

Based on the information that you had provided in your initial question, it sounds like you have been experiencing that sense of "antsy- ness" for quite some time now. What have you been doing as a means to manage your feelings? Reflecting on strategies that have worked for you in the past may be helpful in recognizing ways in which you can cope with your feelings in the present moment.

I really recommend building up on self care skills. A good self care routine can be a fulfilling experience for anybody! It may be a challenge, at first, to truly practice prioritizing your own needs first and foremost, but it is possible! If you are having trouble with identifying tasks to make up a personal care routine, feel free to look online for a list of coping skills! The American Art Therapy Association has a wonderful list of 100 coping skills posted on their website.

You mentioned that you are not that close with your family. Have you always been distant from your nuclear family? What would you say, historically, your role has been in your family system? It is true that how people interact with their family members can offer additional insight into the individual's attachment styles and lead to a general understanding of their own experiences. I recommend reaching out to others for support, including family members, if that is at all possible. It may be helpful to consider one person in your family who you can trust as an ally and start by sending a message to that person.

It can be very difficult to open up to people because you may feel raw and vulnerable after telling other people about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing. What can you do to best support yourself in the process of opening up to the people in your life? Building healthy friendships and relationships is a great way to combat the feeling of loneliness. It may take some time, but perhaps you can begin to feel more connected and less alone after recognizing the aspects of your current friendships that are truly valuable for you.

I know that you mentioned a general feeling of discontent. Are you also feeling disconnected from others? I highly recommend reaching out to at least one person once per week as a means to feel more connected to other people. It is totally okay to ask other people how they are doing as a means to feel less alone and more supported.

In addition, I also highly recommend some therapeutic art making. Creating art can give individuals a sense of purpose and well being. Art making can bring a sense of contentment, fulfillment and inspiration into peoples' lives. As an art therapy related intervention, I recommend creating a drawing of "The Road of Life." This directive might give you some additional insight into your life story and the experiences that you have been having. For this assessment, you may want to gather a piece of watercolor or Bristol paper, chalk pastels, colored pencils, paint, markers or gel pens and paint or draw a road that represents your life. Where are you currently at on your life's journey? Use a symbol to mark the place where you are at on your map!

If the "Road of Life" directive does not speak to you, you may want to consider engaging in some therapeutic coloring. It is scientifically proven that coloring within a circle can produce a sense of relaxation and reduce anxiety and stress for individual participants. You may want to consider checking out mandala coloring pages or ordering a coloring book online.

Another idea that comes to mind is for you to begin the process of therapeutic writing or journaling. Writing daily diary entries, short stories and poetry can be a wonderful modality for self expression. You can even start by writing a gratitude list. There is even a journal feature on the BetterHelp app that provides individuals with daily writing prompts. The Therapeutic Writing Institute has some really great classes and resources if you are interested in learning more about the therapeutic benefits of journaling! Essentially, writing has the power to change your entire outlook on your lived experiences.

Also, I would recommend individual and group therapy services for your at this time. Both of these services are offered on the BetterHelp platform! You may opt for an in person group, as well. The group setting is a great place to meet and interact with other individuals who are experiencing similar situations.

Lastly, I want to encourage you to try out some mindfulness based exercises and relaxation techniques. Practicing yoga, guided meditation and grounding exercises can be a fantastic way to manage feelings of anxiety and feel more connected with yourself and your experiences. You can utilize the five senses as a means to ground yourself on a daily basis!

Thank you again for your time in reaching out for support on BetterHelp! I hope that my response was helpful for you in some way! I want to wish you all the best in your therapeutic journey, NN.