How do I fix the communication with my partner?

Kee, 

I am so glad that you were vulnerable enough to ask your question. That is a great first step. It is apparent that this relationship is important to you and you want it to be the healthiest it can be. Communication is definitely one of the main key components of a healthy relationship.

You mentioned that it appears to only happen when you're having difficult conversations. I am curious as to what these difficult conversations are about. There are many different reasons for communication breakdowns. Knowing the topic that causes the breakdown would be helpful. If it's about your relationship it could be that your partner has an avoidant attachment style and this created a "red light" conversation with them. Fear and anxiety creeps in and they are no longer able to be present in the conversation so they want to run away from it. For some couples it's political types of conversations that could be difficult for them where people have different beliefs and this also causes a shut down of communication. Identifying what the cause of these difficult conversations would be very helpful for the two of you because then you can have insight and the conversations can be more "green light" conversations in which both of you are listening to one another and can respond appropriately.

You mentioned that you like to address things which is very healthy to do. You also mentioned that he likes to ignore it which as you know isn't healthiest and doesn't bring any sort of resolution to the topic. Again identifying the why is what will be most beneficial. Obviously these conversations make him uncomfortable and cause him to retreat and ignore the topic. Sometimes scheduling a time to talk about difficult things could be helpful because the person is in the correct mind space to have a conversation and they've had time to prepare and think about what they're gonna say. Also suggesting maybe that they write down how they're feeling about the particular topic at hand might provide better results as well. Again, the biggest need would be finding out what about the topic is uncomfortable and how to resolve that feeling for your partner so that you both can be present and listen to one another and be able to correspond in the moment.

Sometimes couples have to have a unbiased person step in and do some couples counseling to help strengthen the relationship and communication. If you think that's a need, BetterHelp will definitely be a good option for you. I wish you the best of luck!