How do I know I've wasted too much time on someone?

Hi Penny.  Thank you for reaching out and asking for help.  It's not easy to take this first step.  I see you and recognize you are having a difficult time when putting yourself out there and dating.

It can be so hard to try to manage our emotions and feelings when we like someone and we put forth effort to start a relationship.  Sounds like you are feeling like your actions and attempts are not being reciprocated.  This can be hurtful, feel like your needs are being neglected, and lead to sadness and worrisome feelings.

Be true to you.  Show yourself grace.  What do you want and need in a relationship? Identify the values that are important to you and the goals you have for this relationship.

Do not hesitate to communicate your feelings to be heard.  It's is important to advocate for yourself and communicate effectively.  Speak with "I" statements to express yourself.  For example, "I feel hurt because I reach out and do not receive a response back."  

Set a boundary by communicating what you need and want to move forward.  You can say "As we build a foundation and get to know each other, I appreciate hearing from you.  This is how I feel connected with you."  

Ask the person you are trying to date what they want and expect from this relationship.  This will ensure you are both on the same page.  From that point you will know if moving forward is worthwhile for the two of you. 

It can be helpful to meet with a mental health counselor, you can learn more about yourself and how to build healthy interpersonal relationships. You will learn to self reflect, assess your values, build self worth, improve confidence, identify your feelings, process past issues, reframe negative thinking, form rational thoughts, express yourself, and set goals.

By developing and implementing these positive coping skills you will be better equipped to communicate effectively, express your needs, develop realistic expectations, and set healthy boundaries.

Wishing you all the best on your journey to health and wellness.  Keep reaching out for support.  Take care.