How do I know when it's time to move on?

Forming a connection with someone can be one of the most amazing feelings. We can connect with people on different levels and about different topics. Some of the best bonds that we may form with others include times when we are open with individuals. When we are vulnerable with others, we are being very raw and honest about things that are very deep and important to us. And sometimes people struggle being vulnerable with others, as there is risk. We would hope that someone is supportive to us when we are being open about something very personal. But there is a chance that a person may not be as supportive to us when we express such personal information. Sometimes people may mean well, but they may not be able to be there in the way that we need. Hence, why people may think twice before talking about such personal information.

If we can identify with someone who is opening up about very personal information about themselves, we may feel more inclined to want to open up with them as well (even if it's someone we just met). And if they can be supportive to us, we may open up a bit more about ourselves. This is how connections are formed. Sometimes these connections may feel so great, especially if we don't have those relationships in our day- to- day lives. 

For instance, people in a support group may begin to open up to each other very early on in their sessions. Many of these groups have a theme that folks can relate to and therefore want to talk about their experiences with others. By talking about their experiences, they connect with others very quickly. Thus, it is important to see how having experiences in common can help us feel a bond with others. 

Now, this doesn't mean that we cannot connect or relate to people who haven't experienced similar things, but it really will depend on their ability to support us. For instance, if the person is empathetic and validating, it is possible to be there for others (even if we may not directly connect or relate to that specific experience). And this type of communication can be an adjustment for some people especially if it's new to them. So communicating where you are in this process can help you both better understand each other.

It is important that we evaluate our friendships and relationships to determine if we are feeling connected and validated when we are vulnerable with our loved ones. If we feel like we can't be vulnerable with some people in our lives, it may make us think twice about whether we want to continue having them in our lives. One thing we can consider is to have a conversation with them and communicate how we feel and what we need from them to feel supported. If we feel dismissed, invalidated, or discouraged, we may want to give them a chance to understand how we feel and what we need from them. We would hope that they would be supportive and understanding to our needs if they want to continue being in our lives. If they cannot fulfill that need, then we can think about whether we want to continue a friendship or relationship with that individual. 

People's personal growth experiences differ from one person to another (even in a relationship). Part of our personal growth can include being more vulnerable with folks around us. Opening up to others can provide fulfillment and improve our communication skills. When we are in a relationship with someone who may be at a different place in their own personal growth journey, it can cause some disagreements or disconnect between partners. Thus, it is really important that both individuals speak to each other about their personal growth journey, needs, and wants. This way, trying to get on the same page is more possible.

Some of us may still be trying to figure out this self-growth journey. So if you need some space or time to figure it out, that's valid too. Generally, through self-awareness, we can get a sense of what we want from our relationships with others. And once we become aware, it is easier to identify it. The next step is to communicate it to others so that it provides them with an opportunity to be there for us in the way that we need. Once we figure it out, we may want to think about communicating this to our loved ones and try to problem-solve. 

We can always attempt to problem-solve and communicate with loved ones once we have a better understanding of our needs. If we feel this isn't working, we can bring in a neutral person to help with the communication part (like a religious leader, counselor, or mental health therapist). It is definitely possible to work things out as long as both individuals are able to express their feelings and willing to work on making the relationship work. This may mean that things may change or shift a bit, but it doesn't mean that's a bad thing. It just may take some time to figure it out together. Best of luck to you on your journey to figuring out your needs and expressing them to loved ones.