How do i move forward?

First, I want to commend you for opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in this moment. It takes a lot of courage to come to a forum like this and admit that you are struggling with a certain topic. I also want to express my sincerest sympathy for your situation and I know this is something that can be extremely difficult to cope with and learn to move forward with. Infidelity brings in very difficult times in relationships because of all the aftereffects of what the decision brings. Things such as trust issues, distance, and anxiety are very common when it comes to this situation.

When learning to move forward, you truly must think about what you want in the relationship. Do you want to pursue repairing this relationship? Is this a deal breaker? Do you want to separate or divorce? These are very important things to ask yourself, because this will depict what the next steps are for you. A conversation between yourself and your husband is integral to next steps also.

There are some important things you want to discuss in that conversation, but first and foremost. You both must agree to be respectful of each other during the conversation. It can easily get heated and we all know emotions tend to run wild when discussing infidelity. I suggest writing a list of topics that you want to bring to the table during the talk. Just so you can keep yourself on track. Tell him to do the same. I also suggest that the children are not around during this talk so you can speak freely. When you are feeling elevated, try and take a deep breath and walk away if you need to. This is a good start for deciding what is next for you and your husband. So you can start figuring out what you want to do with the rest of the relationship and you will be able to set some boundaries and limitations with him.

In regards to therapy recommendations, I believe this is something that you can work out while meeting with a therapist. There you can get into more detail about the situation and how you believe this came into play. If you are thinking about couples therapy, I usually recommend that each party gets their own individual therapist first to work out some things that may be hidden under the surface. Then after some coping skills, communication skills, and emotion management skills are learned, then couples therapy can be looked at. It will provide you both with the resources you need in order to come together in a more effective matter.

I wish you good luck during this time and I sincerely hope that things get better for you.