How do I stop myself from feeling extremely bad that I broke up with my fiancé of 4 years?

First, I want to validate how hard it must have been to make the decision to end the relationship. Change is hard, even when we know in our hearts that it's time to move on. It can be easier to remain indecisive than it is to make a hard choice, and so, I hope you're giving yourself credit for making a difficult yet necessary choice.

Give yourself grace and compassion and allow yourself to feel all the feelings that are emerging from this break up. Some days will feel easier than others. It is a literal grieving process, and you will be experiencing the 5 stages of grief throughout this break: anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You will go back and forth on each stage at different times.

Make sure your support system is strong, and that it feels safe to express your feelings with them! Being in safe environments is a MUST right now. Most importantly, remind yourself why you chose to end the relationship in the first place. People can spend many years feeling stuck in relationships they're no longer growing in, and you had the bravery & courage to show up for yourself and say "this is it." I applaud you and admire you!

And this is another important point: that part of you that ended the relationship is a part of you that is rooted in self love. It is the part of you that is recognizing that you deserve to feel better, to find relief, to feel fulfilled, and that this relationship just wasn't cutting it. It doesn't mean he's a "bad" person. It just means he wasn't meeting your needs, and it is OKAY and ACCEPTABLE for you to recognize that and make the choice to move forward. I am proud of you and hope you're taking time to love, love, love on yourself. Right now more than ever, you need all the pampering and the spoiling! Spa days, massages, you name it. You are worthy! I hope that you continue to realize how amazing you are, and how strong! 

Olivia Lima, LMHC CCTP