How Marriage Counseling Works?

What is marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling, which is sometimes also called couples counseling, involves two people in a relationship (they do not have to be married) meeting with a therapist, at least most of the time together, to work through issues identified by the couple. The therapist may be a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in marriage counseling. The therapist may use a number of different techniques to help the couple, such as role-playing and helping each person identify their thoughts. It may also involve psychoeducation, which can teach the couple how to think and behave differently in the relationship, for instance, should one or both individuals feel upset. The therapist may also meet with each person individually at times, and both individuals participating can expect to receive homework to practice what was discussed in the session before the next session. Whereas in individual therapy the one client is known as the “identified patient”, but in marriage counseling, the couple itself is the “identified patient”, and this is particularly important, as the purpose of counseling is not to “fix” one person’s behavior, but rather to accomplish a common goal, with both partners often needing to make behavioral changes.

When to choose marriage counseling

Couples often choose marriage counseling when they are having difficulty communicating with each other effectively. Others choose marriage counseling when there has been infidelity in the relationship, when there are sexual concerns, or when there is disagreement about how to rear the children. Couples sometimes choose marriage counseling as a last resort before choosing to end the relationship, but even couples with generally happy relationships can still benefit from couples counseling. Marriage counseling works best when both individuals are willing to work hard to improve the relationship.

When marriage counseling may not be appropriate

Marriage counseling can be inappropriate when there is violence in the relationship, as it is often instead recommended that emergency help is obtained by law enforcement or that the person experiencing the abuse choose another resource, such as a shelter specializing in domestic violence. Marriage counseling is also not recommended when both partners are not open to participating in the therapy, as it will require sacrifices, including hard work between each session. Additionally, in some situations, such as when one partner has difficulty managing his or her anger, or when one partner has had an extramarital affair, beginning with individual therapy before the couple begins marriage therapy may be recommended by the therapist.