how do relationships change over time?

I really like this question because it is definitely something that I see many different relationship types/dynamics.  Relationships can change over time for various reasons.  Some of these reasons are beyond our control.  Concepts such as passing time or a personality change can result in major changes within one’s relationships.

When looking at different friendships over the span of a life course, there tends to be a pattern where children form relationships with others out of convenience.  Children who share classes, live in the same neighborhood, or participate in the same community activities are more likely to establish friendships.  But, over time, children develop their own sense of identity and develop their own independence.  Children will start to develop a better sense of their own morals and values, and, sometimes, those morals and values do not align with friends from early childhood.  Furthermore, as children enter into adolescence, increased independence, such as the ability to drive, means that they are not restricted to friendships within their local area.

Another area where many changes occur within relationships over time is relationships between parents and children.  During childhood, a natural dynamic of parents having authority over their children establishes different “norms” or “patterns.” Children are taught to respect their parents and, at times, might even mirror their values, morals, and opinions.  As children get older, this dynamic changes as they establish their own identity.  They form opinions and morals that might be different from their parents and even go so far as to challenge their parents when these differences become an issue.  Once children enter adulthood, an even more significant change occurs in the dynamic between them and their parents.  At this stage, parents and their children are technically equal and could be considered peers.  This could mean even more turmoil for their relationship in the early stages of adulthood.

Finally, another important area to consider when talking about relationships and how they change over time is romantic partnerships. Many people talk about the “honeymoon phase” of different relationships, where things tend to be more geared towards romance and infatuation. However, romantic relationships can change and evolve in several different ways during long-term commitments.   While plenty of people maintain romantic feelings towards their partner, others might still develop more of a functional partnership that is not necessarily romantic.

It is important to note that all related changes can cause internal and external issues, especially when they occur.  It is important to have social resources, whether a professional counselor/therapist or a network of trusted people, who can guide one through some of these difficulties.  If anything is constant about relationships, it’s that they all change.  There’s solidarity in all of us experiencing changes within our relationships, and therefore we can provide support to one another when these changes occur.