How to can I stop being controlling of my boyfriend?

Thank you very much for feeling free to ask such a difficult question.  Being very controlling can push someone away. So when someone becomes too controlling or overbearing, it can push the person they love away from them.  The person being controlled may become resistant and stressed and this may cause conflict within the relationship.

One thing you may want to look at is to find out the reason or the need for you to have such control or power. Have you been controlling in your other relationships or has someone controlled you? You are ahead of catching a situation that can turn not so good because you know that you are in the need to want to control and you want to work on not being controlling. 

One thing you have to understand is that you are only in control of your self, your actions and your responsibilities. You can not control others and you have to decide if you want to embrace the imperfections of others. Also, imagine how you would feel if someone wants to control you and how would you feel and what would your actions be if someone tried controlling you? What would your reaction be? If there are issues that have happened that have led to trust issues then you will definetly need to deal with those issues. So dig down deep and look at the deeper reason of why you feel the need to have control.

Also, sometimes one's need to control is driven by fear, is there something that you are scared of (possibly something bad happening to him, him cheating, him leaving, etc)  You can work on practicing acceptance of the fact that you can't control your significant other. Stay mindful and catch yourself when you are being controlling and ask yourself if this is something you can control or can't control. Try a mantra this will help you keep your goal at the front (example: I don't need to control everything or everyone, I can only control myself, my way isn't the only way, etc.).

I hope this helped answer your question. Have a great day.

Donica R Pugh Eds. LPC