How to get your hubby to communicate?
Asked by Addy
Answered
11/30/2022
Communication within a marriage can be hard at times. This can be caused by outside stress, relationship stress, family obligations, or not enough time. Additionally, there are times where communication does not happen because we do not know how to communicate what we are feeling, need, or want in our relationship so we shut down. However, no matter how much the communication has been off or if there's a loss of a connection, there are still actions we can take to change things.
One way to improve communication or get our significant other to engage in communication is to set specific time aside to do just that. I typically have clients set aside 20-30 minutes a day where they are together to talk about anything and everything except problems and kids. This does two things. First it allows communication to not always feel like a correction or to address negative things. Second it allows the communication to be about each other to give further insight into the other person. Typically, during these conversations, you talk about your day, what made you laugh, something that you connected with, or about anything. Additionally, we can reconnect with the person not just try to fix things.
Another way to get your significant other to communicate more is to ask clarifying and open-ended questions. Miscommunication often occurs due to our experiences, understandings, and knowledge. When we have conversations, we oftentimes forget to listen to understand instead of listening to respond. By asking clarification questions we are being able to understand more of what the other person is trying to express as well as shows them that we are open to hearing them truly for what they are saying. Asking the open-ended questions allows us to get them to communicate more about the topics we are addressing. Lastly, communicating your full feelings with your significant other at a time where you both are present. Meaning there are not distractions and you two are looking at each other. By being honest about not feeling connected and in love may open opportunities for him to express how he is feeling. If he struggles to express his feelings, asking questions or saying more of what you have noticed regarding his actions and behaviors may open up the way for him to communicate more. These are often uncomfortable or awkward moments; however, it allows an opportunity to openly communicate
