I am dealing with a break up of a long-term relationship

Hello,

The ending of a long-term relationship can be difficult for others, and it does not matter how well things are thought out or planned for us, others can still be affected. So many emotions attached to so many memories and reminders of places and events, both bad and good, can become confusing and overwhelming. Usually, they feel a sense of grief or loss which will take time for them to resolve for themselves. Can you be understanding and tolerant of their inappropriate comments for a certain amount of time, and communicate a clear limit to that understanding and tolerance? Especially if these relatives and friends are people that are important to you, and you would like to continue enjoying a relationship with them in the future.

We as humans have the right to a concept called choice and if your choice leads you to regret you must deal with the consequences. If your choice leads to peace then you can rejoice. The results can not be foreseen.            

The result of the other choice you wrote about is clear, and that is the result that comes from working on yourself. Putting that energy into bettering yourself by attaining higher education, or coming to counseling are investments in yourself. So long as that investment is not harming anyone else, for example, a child, it should be seen as an example of seeing yourself as worthy. Worthy to become all that you want. Be aware of negative thoughts that may be influenced by the comments of others as they may ultimately steer you away from your goals. The voice of discouragement should be replaced by positive statements which you can post in your surroundings and repeat daily. 

No one gets to live your life but you, so how do YOU feel about your life-changing decisions? Are they balanced with wisdom and generous with forgiveness of those whose foresight has not quite caught up to yours yet?   

Please feel free to message me if you have any other questions or comments. I am able to hold virtual sessions where we can dissect this situation further.

Have a wonderful day,

Elizabeth Garcia, M.A, LPC