I am struggling to find closure and move on from a break up. How can I work on this?

Hi Courtney, Thank you so much for your question.  I think a lot of individuals who are also going through a break up like you have gone through are feeling many of the same feelings and thoughts that you expressed in your question.  Like the song says, "Breaking up is hard to do"...even during those instances where you are the one who initiated the break up of the relationship. Even though we may know that the end of a relationship is the right thing for us, it does not mean it is easy to move on.  I think it can even more difficult to move on when the relationship is complicated, had issues along the way and perhaps when it did not end amicably.  Furthermore, I think it can also be a struggle when we have been wronged by the person that we once loved and there is no remorse or apology from them for what they did to us. It can be hard to accept that even though we may deserve an apology that our ex might not give it to us.

Some of the normal reactions that a person typically experiences following a break up include anger and frustration, crying and sadness, fear, insomnia and loss of interest in doing things.  These reactions typically resolve with time and if they do not then you might want to consider talking to a counselor or therapist about what you went through in the relationship, how the relationship ended and how the break up is currently impacting you.  I feel sometimes processing what happened to us during the relationship (both the good and the bad things) and how we felt in the past and how we are feeling in the present can give us some clarity and closure regarding the relationship and its end. 

You may also want to consider journaling or exploring some of the feelings and emotions you are experiencing right now.  By journaling you may be able to purge some of the emotions, feelings and thoughts that you are struggling with when it comes to your ex.  If you decide you are interested in talking to a counselor about the break up with your ex and how you are still struggling with it, know that there are counselors here at BetterHelp that want to help you and support you to deal with it.