I am very alone in this Chapter of my life.

Hello there!  Thanks so much for the question and your willingness to be vulnerable about needing help with this very real and unfortunately all too common problem.  I think loneliness - especially in this post-COVID world - is pervasive, especially among single adults who work from home.  I was actually worried when I began working from home that I would struggle with these same issues, but I've found some strategies that have worked for me. 

I've identified interests and hobbies and then found ways to meet people who share those same activities.  Whether it's through a church, library, or other community organization, there are ways to meet people that aren't as scary as "networking events" might be.  For instance, do you like to read?  Join a book club!  Do you enjoy crafting?  See if your local community center has anything to offer?  Enjoy D&D or other kinds of gaming? There are definitely outlets for that.

You mentioned that your close friends don't understand where you are . . . I wish I knew more about what that meant because I hate to assume, but this is a general answer to help as much as possible so I'll just say that I wonder if you could somehow communicate differently about what you need from them.  Do you ever invite them to lunch or dinner?  Do you let them know that you are feeling lonely?  While sometimes, especially if we're very depressed and/or anxious, we can either retreat so far into ourselves that we fall off the radar of people who love us OR we overwhelm people with how much support we need.  Finding a balance between accepting what people are offering and finding ways to self-soothe is not easy, but pretty important.

I do applaud you for setting boundaries with the friends who you say are going in a different direction than you are comfortable.  That's important, too - setting limits, making choices, and not surrounding yourself with people who might bring you down is really wise.

Finally, I'd encourage you to find ways to take care of yourself.  It's easier to reach out, make friends, and you will feel better if you address self-care. First, decide which activities bring you joy, replenish your energy, and restore your balance. Start small by choosing one behavior you’d like to incorporate into your routine in the next week. Build up to practicing that behavior every day for one week. Reflect on how you feel. Add in additional practices when ready.

I also think it's important to focus on these five areas of self-care: movement and exercise, body fuel (are you feeding yourself enough and healthy things?), sleep, sunlight, and interpersonal connection. If you prioritize your needs in these areas, I think you'll feel better overall - and that might make the hard stuff a little easier.

Best wishes to you! Thanks again for the question and I hope you are able to find the support and connection you are craving.