I have lots of thoughts in my mind about my relationship days, I went through a breakup 2 years ago.

It's hard to be able to guide you without more information but I am going to try and address what information has been provided to me. 

Your ex may or may not have loved you that is hard to say since I don't know anything more about the relationship, but I also know that people aren't always the best at expressing things. In relationships, being open, honest, and validating one another feelings is essential. 

The break up was 2 years ago, do you know what happened to cause the break up? Do you think it was healthy on both ends? From my experience I have noticed that people don't always have the best communication skills when it comes to relationships thus why there are issues. Also in relationships I always recommend to clients that they first do the free love language quiz online and find out what their love language is because we also don't always know exactly what we need and want without this. Then there's a need to understand how to use it within the relationships as I have discovered people often don't know how to use the love language. I also use the 4 horseman of apocalypse with couples to help guide healthy communication and break down barriers. I also like the fair fighting worksheet. You can google any of these.

These resources are very helpful to not just couples but people in general because we learn to talk, but nobody really teaches us how to have healthy conversations. I love the quote, "It is hard to listen when you are talking, or when you are thinking of a response." If we are really listening to someone, we aren't waiting for the opportunity to respond, or interrupting. Instead, we are really waiting for them to finish so we can see what they have to say.

I have found in relationships that people tend to get defensive, and we don't always communicate effectively. If we wait for the other person to finish what they are saying, we typically can then see how they are feeling and see things from their perspective. 

The only way for you to be able to move past this is to work on your internal thoughts from the relationship, and learn about yourself in terms of what life experiences and childhood have shaped you. We are all a product of our environment. If you get therapy, it will benefit you to start there to understand yourself more. Also, learning to heal so you can move into a new relationship someday. You deserve to be with someone who loves, and respects you, but we first have to love ourself and it's hard to do when we don't always understand ourself. 

I hope this was helpful for you, and I hope you can move past this and heal with help.