I need relationship advice and someone to just listen and help me

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having some trouble in your relationship. Experiencing a lot of relationship trouble leads to so much anxiety and stress, making it difficult to focus on the rest of your life. I have a few suggestions I think could help as well as some general advice for relationships.

If you want somebody to talk to and better understand how to help you and your boyfriend, I would highly recommend talking to a therapist. A therapist can help you and your boyfriend better understand what is going on in your relationship and what is the source of the problems. I have worked with hundreds of couples and sometimes all it takes is a few sessions together to get the two of you back on the same page. Sometimes it takes much longer than that, but either way, having someone come in as a third-party will make a huge difference.

Based off of what you said, it sounds like your boyfriend is going through a lot of stress and seems like a different person than he was two years ago. You mentioned that he has a lot going on. When somebody goes through a lot of stress like that, they tend to stay at a state of high anxiety all the time. What that does is it leaves him feeling like he is in need of defending himself all the time. Meaning the two of you will end up arguing more often. What I would suggest is you do everything you can to try and be as understanding as possible about the stress he is going through, but he also needs to better manage that stress he is going through. Just because he is going through something really stressful doesn't mean he has to take it out on you or be rude to you in any way. You mentioned that he has been ignoring your boundaries, this is something that is highly inappropriate and unacceptable. Both of you need to respect each other and each other's boundaries. This relationship doesn't move forward if neither one of you are able to do that.

I am going to give you three things to focus on in this relationship right now to hopefully improve things for the two of you. 

The first thing is acceptance, you must be willing to accept your partner for who they are and not be actively trying to change them all the time. This is because it is your partner's job to change themselves and it is your job to change your self, when you try to change the other person you end up feeling really frustrated because you're just spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere. Accept and enjoy your partner for who they are, celebrate the things that make them uniquely them instead of trying to change them into something they are not. 

The next thing you need is gratitude, gratitude means a general thankfulness and appreciation for the good things that your partner is bringing into the relationship. Focusing on gratitude is extremely important because it helps get rid of bitterness and resentment. When you make that active effort to appreciate the good things your partner is doing you tend to see them in a more positive way. Acknowledge and show appreciation for the good things your partner is doing.

The final thing you need is forgiveness, nobody will hurt you in your life as much as your partner hurt you and you will never hurt anybody as much as you hurt your partner. There are lots of times in a long-term relationship where you have to forgive each other, forgiving doesn't mean forgetting things that have happened in the past or pretending they didn't happen. When bad things happen that hurt both of you or one of you, you must approach the topic and learn from it, and become better partners from it. Forgiveness means choosing to not see your partner through the lens of their mistakes.

If you focus on these three things it will help drastically improve your relationship.

I hope you were able to find something in here that helps and I wish you the best of luck!