In most of my relationships I’ve been told I’m too clingy or I talk too much. What can I do to fix it?

Hello,

You asked the question, "What can I do to fix it?" My question to you is, why do you think there is something that needs to be fixed?

It depends on who you ask, but giving your all at the beginning of a relationship can be good or bad. I think you should be open to giving your all, but a person needs to earn it. We too often give so much to those who don't deserve it, and then there's nothing left for those who do.

Communication is one of the most important components of a healthy relationship. There is a difference, however, between communication and being nosey. It may not feel like being nosey to you, however, when people get bombarded with questions, it sometimes becomes very uncomfortable.

Have you ever felt like you're moving too fast, or becoming attached very quickly? Do you ask the questions because you are afraid that the unknowns ARE secrets? Do you feel like your partners are hiding the truth from you? Do you find yourself asking the same questions repeatedly and/or in different ways?

If you answered yes, I would agree that changes need to be made. It seems to me that you are having trouble with some of your thought processes. In other words, you are dealing with some cognitive distortions. Basically, due to the way you think (about certain things), your behaviors (like asking a lot of questions) are not always the best kind to fit a particular situation.

Do you think it is possible for you to just find happiness in spending time with a person? Can you slow yourself down enough to let some of the questions get answered as a part of a conversation that is related to the question? Are you able to take a step back from a situation and examine it from the other person's point of view?

Some people are not automatic "sharers." Some people have grown up in families that do not talk about themselves or situations. So, opening up is a vulnerability that they are not yet ready for. If you keep asking, it does become "too much" for many people. Some people are not ready to let you get past that barrier they have up. Instead of trying to push down an entire brick wall with one big push, break it down one brick at a time.

Let me add this: there are some people out there who are willing to fully open up about themselves. They would have no problems answering questions. However, until you find someone with that quality, slow down... don't dive into the deep end of the pool head first. Instead, go to the end with the least amount of water, walk down each step that leads you into the water, and slowly make your way to the deep end. Walking in water takes time and strength. Forming a healthy relationship should take the same amount of time and strength.

I hope this gives a little clarity. 

Well wishes!