Is there a way for me to stop feeling remorseful for an event that I’ve been forgiven for?

Hi

If you are considering counseling, areas that could possibly be explored in an Integrative way might be: -

Whilst you and your girlfriend have a plan towards recovery (which is great) what emotional needs, of yours, may not have been met previously?    And were your needs met in the external relationship?    Are you consciously aware of what those needs are?     

In counseling it might be worth exploring your Values/Beliefs (parental values, values of someone you respect, societal values, the values you live by, the values you would like to live by).

You say you struggle to fall asleep.   What is it that is keeping you awake?    Are you overthinking?   If so, what might these thoughts be about?    Are you ruminating?     This could be explored in counseling.     It could be working with CBT to review and potentially reframe these thoughts.

It would certainly be exploring your feeling of "remorse", which would link in with the values type exercise.  Also "Who are you?"  eg., when you are not being defined by the roles we have in life, so for example, who are you other than a partner. spouse, son, daughter, sibling, parent, etc., who are you away from your job role?   With this type of work we are getting to the core of our Self.   Are you being your authentic Self?    

Again, coming back to the "remorse" in counseling there could perhaps be some exploration of childhood until the present, has there been expectations placed upon you from others, or indeed from yourself, do you feel you can, or do meet these expectations?     What does remorse mean to you?    What does it feel like?    Look like?    These type of questions can be undertaken in a more 'creative' way of working in counseling.  It is getting underneath the remorse.  What is it that is at the core of this feeling?  

I think the main thing is that your girlfriend has forgiven you, however, are you able to forgive yourself?  Depending on your answer to this it is something that can be worked on in counseling in a number of ways.

I think there is deep work to be undertaken potentially with an Integrative Counselor.