Marriage problems which has led to depression and now has affected with my toddler.

Hi there! Thank you for reaching out for support! It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support, and you should be proud of yourself for doing so today. I want to preface this by saying that I am answering this question based on the information that has been provided today. If we were meeting for a therapy session, I would want to ask clarifying questions to gather more information. Since I only have the information that has been provided above, I do apologize if I have misunderstood any of this ahead of time :)

Just to clarify, it sounds like you are saying that you have been experiencing marital issues that contribute to feelings of depression and the relationship with your child. I want to first let you know that you are valid to feel the way you do and it is so important to acknowledge where you are right now. Relationships and marriage can certainly be difficult, and it is understandable why this could affect your overall mental health - that can also then trickle down to your relationship with your child or other relationships. If we are not feeling okay mentally, it can certainly come out in other ways. If we were meeting for a session, I would want to know more about the depression symptoms you have been experiencing and the length of time you have been feeling this way. Since I am not sure if, or how, all of these are related, I am going to provide some feedback on the three different things you mentioned above.

While marital problems can certainly be common, I would encourage you to first identify where the source of the problems is - does this stem from stress, financial strain, emotional disconnection, lack of trust?? Try to first identify what is causing the marital strain. I would also want to know if you have tried marital/relationship counseling. I would certainly recommend couples counseling as a way to work out the issues in the marriage - or at least try to start working on that. I would also really encourage you to try being open with your spouse about your feelings and try to problem solve ways to improve the marriage. Often times with young children, it can be hard to prioritize the marriage/relationship. But, do you have supports in your life that could possibly watch your child while you and your spouse take some time to go away for a weekend? Maybe it could help to have some time to recharge, just the two of you. Try to find ways to help with reconnecting if that is your goal in the marriage right now.

I also want to touch on the relationship with your child. I can imagine it has been hard to feel like depression and/or marital problems are affecting your relationship with your little one. I would try to give yourself some grace and again, acknowledge why you are feeling the way you are right now. Could you also spend some quality time with your child, just the two of you? Maybe having a day of just you two could really help. I would also encourage you to discuss this with your spouse if possible. 

Lastly, I want to touch on the depression piece. Depression can make it very hard to get through the day to day responsibilities. I would encourage you to try to ask for help with responsibilities when you can. Do you have supports who could help out when you need it the most? I would encourage you to then carve out some time for you where you can practice self-care and do something positive for yourself. Is there a hobby or interest that you haven't practiced in a while, but would like to? Try to do something for yourself each day, whether it is 15 minutes or an hour. Self-care goes so far with depression, especially if you are feeling tired or lack of motivation. I would also encourage you to try to journal out your thoughts and feelings - journaling can be an effective way to work through depression and offer some time for your own self. Lastly, try to lean on your support team when you are feeling this way. That could also mean looking into starting therapy to have that support. I would encourage you to look into individual and/or group therapy to help get some of these thoughts and feelings out.

I want to thank you again for reaching out for support today. I hope this was helpful and I wish you the best on your journey.

Warm regards :)