Sleeping whole day, no motivation for work

Recently gone through breakup I can't able to get up in the morning and work. My job is at risk.i cant stop myself from contacting my boyfriend. I am not taking food for days. Feeling very low energy, how can I build self discipline again
Asked by Bash
Answered
12/05/2021

Hi Bash,

First off, let me say that I'm sorry for the pain and loss you are going through right now and would highly recommend you consider the book, "The wisdom of a broken heart" by Susan Piver.  It sounds like you are going through probably the hardest part of the breakup and in the midst of intense feelings of grief and loss... also probably the hardest time to see or believe that it will not always feel like this.\, however I would encourage you as you are able , even for a moment to hear that voice in your head that is saying ina caring , soft and gentle manner that you will not always feel like this and that you ar stuck at this moment in time but not broken.  You are also in the words of Grief expert, David Kessler, "in the river of grief"... you asked the question, "how can I build self-discipline again?" One step at a time... one moment at a time...  It would seem to me that right now it might be important to try and focus on self-care and self-kindness. The self-discipline will follow in time. Do not look away from your feelings but rather toward them. We have to feel to heal... the healing from the pain ...is in the pain... 

I like this excerpt from Joanne Cacciatore's book, (clips of her writing)  "Grieving is Loving" when she writes a letter to self... " Please remember to have a good cry when you need it, drink plenty of water, connect with caring others, accept and embrace your emotions without changing any of them, even the good ones, find the sun every day, learn to love your solitude, sleep seven hours a night" 

I'm also reminded of the quote from The Kotzker Rebbe... "There is no heart more whole then a broken one" ... 

Bash... give yourself time to feel... focus as you can on self-care which means attending to your body, your mind, your heart and your spirit... as this happens, your energy will increase in small ways ...slow,y in all these areas... and then you may be in a better place to focus more clearly on moving forward.  Its not about moving on... its about moving forward... finding your way home to your own heart.   There is no heart more whole... than a broken one... 

May you have peace, may you have safety, may you have ease during this most stressful time, may you find the strength you need to get through these days. 

with loving care and kindness 

Warm regards,'

Dave