This man keeps lying to me and I don’t know why I keep taking him back

Hi Isabel,

I can read the frustration in your writing and empathize with that feeling.  Sometimes trying to figure out why people treat us a particular way or why we allow people to repeat the same behaviors over and over is important.  We have to ask ourselves, "Have I allowed this person to cross boundaries so many times that they no longer have respect for me?"  Once you have that answer, then you have a decision to make.  It's either you continue to put yourself in a position where they take advantage of your compassion and kindness, or you decide that you are worth more and place firm boundaries down.  I understand that is easier said than done, however William Glasser (author of Choice Theory) said "We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives."  You can not control how people treat you, you can only control how you receive it.

Infidelity and self worth also seem to play important roles in your relationship.  I always like to take a look at the patterns of relationships when it comes to family history.  Did he come from a family that understands healthy relationships and recognizes personal boundaries?  What are his values when it comes to relationships?  Based on what you've written, it doesn't sound like he puts too much value in commitment, honesty or trust.  If that is the case, what are your values surrounding it and do they match up?  These are all questions to explore in order to answer your "why".  Additionally your self worth is important, why are you in this relationship?  From what you've written, "reward" doesn't appear to be present.  How is this relationship rewarding to you?  Are you growing in anyway mentally, emotionally, tangibly, etc.  Maybe it's time to be honest with yourself, evaluate the reason why you're there.  When that is clear to you, deciding wether to stay or go may also be easier. 

Be guided by your intuition and how much you love yourself. People lie because they are afraid of something.