To stay or to leave
Asked by Mo
Answered
10/09/2022
Knowing when to walk away after infidelity is something that many people struggle with throughout their life. This is a difficult place for anyone to come back from, especially if the infidelity is a recurring thing. The most important thing to remember is that you should always do what feels right to you. Never allow others to persuade you or make the decision for you because it's ultimately your happiness and your choice. Staying in a relationship after infidelity can be challenging and cause other stressors in the relationship.
There are a few things to consider if you reach this point in your relationship.
- The first being: is your partner willing to own up to and apologize for their indiscretions? People who refuse to acknowledge their indiscretion and issue an apology may not have what it takes to put in any effort toward improving the relationship.
- The next thing to consider is communication. Communication is important in any relationship, especially after infidelity has taken place. Some couples experience infidelity because of poor communication in a relationship. Effective communication is necessary regardless of whether you wish to stay together. A partner that isn't open to a discussion could be mistaken as one that doesn't care about the relationship or the other person.
- Lastly, do you have the desire to put in the work or try to work things out? If you've been cheated on and are emotionally or mentally drained, it may be an indication that you should walk away. If you have no desire to talk with your partner, attend counseling, or even accept their apology, it may be a sign that you've had enough or are no longer interested in pursuing the relationship.
The steps to reclaiming a healthy relationship require that both parties want to work towards a common goal because relationships can be prosperous after acts of infidelity. The healing process is painful, and the work sometimes seems exhausting. It's a commitment that requires immense dedication and willingness. It is most effective when both parties express and understand the severity of what has taken place.
Neither of you should try to rush and get back what once was. In fact, things may never be like they were before. Although, it may have been the way that things were before that led to infidelity in the first place. Acts of indiscretion may never be completely forgotten, but the pain associated with the act will begin to lessen over time. Therefore, it's important to work on forgiveness because it helps to move past the anger and disappointment associated with cheating.
It is crucial that both partners understand that forgiveness won't occur overnight, nor does it equate to trust. These are both sensitive areas to any relationship, especially one where infidelity has occurred. Acknowledging and accepting your true feelings is a major part of knowing when to walk away after infidelity.
(LCPC, LPC, NCC)