What is the best was to get over feeling like you’re not enough?

Hi-

Thank you for your courage and honesty in asking your question about your relationship. There is a lot going on for you in trying to work through your feelings about "not being enough" in romantic relationships. You may be feeling sad, hurt, confused and hopeless about this relationship and wondering how to move forward. It also sounds like you were vulnerable to this person and they did not hold your heart with care and respect.

Along with all of the feelings you are trying to process, you also mention that you are now living on your own and you are facing some new challenges. Living independently can be exciting and scary at the same time. What is it like for you to make your own decisions and to have time to yourself? What are the aspects of living independently that are scary for you? How would you describe your support system? You also mention feeling that your insecurities are swirling through your mind when you think about past relationships. How would you describe the people in your past relationships? Sometimes it is about the people and their character and not about you.

I have several journal suggestions for you to write about as a way to help you process your feelings and concerns.

• 1) Write in the middle of a piece of paper the words past relationships and circle it.
• 2) Next, write down all of the negative aspects of those relationships and then all of the positive aspects of those relationships.
• 3) Next, take a look at all of the positive qualities and make a list of what you would consider are your non-negotiables in your next relationship.
• 4) Write out a list of qualities that you bring to a relationship.
• 5) Combine your qualities, your non-negotiables and the positive qualities you want in your next relationship and create your ideal relationship that you want to work toward. 

When it comes to living independently there is the practical side of finances and creating a budget. The other side of living independently is to make a list of people you can go to for support so you don't feel so lonely. You may also want to think about what it is that you want to do.  

Health to you - Terese