What to do when dating a narcissist?

Dating is a time when people are getting to know one another and deciding if they want to move forward and be in an intimate relationship with one another.  It is a time when people are deciding and making choices to be vulnerable, be open with one another, be honest and share some of their deepest intimate secrets.  Dating a narcissist can be difficult and emotionally draining at times.

A person can either be a narcissist with a full personality disorder or have traits of narcissism.  A licensed clinical professional can only diagnose the personality disorder.  A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition.  Some characteristics include an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive attention and admiration, always wanting to be held in regard, a lack of empathy for others, and having troubled relationships with others.  A narcissist is usually selfish, and almost always, this is done at the expense of other people.

Someone with narcissism is usually unable to hold a healthy relationship; they do not have the ability to think of others, listen to the other person’s part of the conversation, constantly feed off of their compliments, and be verbally or physically abusive.  Someone with narcissism can be manipulative and blames others for their behavior; they often have trouble taking responsibility and being accountable for their own behavior and actions.

It is important to evaluate the healthiness of your relationship; relationships with those diagnosed with narcissism can be toxic. It may be best to leave the relationship.  The other person may make it difficult to end the relationship because the narcissist’s ego has been so badly bruised and hurt they may feel rage and hurt and do anything in their power to hurt the other person, which could include bad-mouthing the other person or immediately start dating someone else.

Narcissists also tend to gaslight those they are in relationships with; they tend to belittle, criticize, and oftentimes, not define the relationship or be willing to commit to being in one.  If you find yourself dating someone like this, it is important to remind yourself that you deserve better; it is important to reach out to your support system, possibly including a support group for others who are in or have been in relationships with other people narcissists.   It is also important to receive therapy.  The relationship's failure is not about the healthy partner. It is about the unhealthy one. Once the decision is made to end the relationship, it is essential to stick to it, including blocking all contact and communication with that person.

If you have dated or are dating a narcissist, it can be emotionally exhausting. However, one can heal and move forward with one life once that relationship is over.