What to do when relationships are one sided?

When people think of relationships, they are under the impression it will always be a 50-50. However, this is seldom the case. In a healthy relationship, the split will frequently fluctuate. There will be times when one person will give more, and the other will do more taking; however, ideally, this will eventually turn around. What do you do when the relationship becomes one-sided? What if you are the one who is always initiating the conversation or making plans? Does this mean the relationship is not working or cannot be saved?

One thing to clear up is if your partner is under the impression that you are “doing the work” because this is something you want to do rather than something you are doing. After all, they do not want to do it. Is one person making plans because "that is how it has always been," and if they are not the ones to do this, nothing will get done?

Communication is key in relationships- this is true of friendships and romantic relationships as well. If you feel like the relationship is one-sided, identifying why you feel this way and having open, honest communication can be the first step to fixing this issue. Not having communication and discussing this can lead to feelings of resentment towards the other party involved. Having this communication can help both individuals to grow.

Along with communication, a mutual understanding of what the expectations for the relationship are is also important. One person may view the relationship in a more serious light than the other, thus contributing to the feeling of one-sidedness. Discussing what the relationship means (friendship? romance?) can help keep these expectations in line. Making assumptions can lead to hurt feelings and confused or blurry boundaries.

If you are in a relationship and feel as though it is one-sided, discussing it is the best way of handling the situation. Avoiding the topic can lead to thoughts and feelings of resentment and sadness, and what could have been s simple misunderstanding can lead to the demise of a relationship.