What to do when relationships change?

Relationships can be such a beautiful thing to experience, and like most long-term experiences in life, relationships naturally change throughout their course.  Sometimes relationships can change for the better, and sometimes they can change for the worse.  A good first step is to check in with yourself about what direction you want to go when change occurs.  No one should ever feel forced to stay in a relationship, so it is important to check in with yourself about if you want to continue in the relationship or not.  Try to think through the pros and cons of each direction as you face the change you are going through in your relationship. 

If you think the pros seem to outweigh the cons, you might choose to stay in the relationship.  If there are good changes to accept, try to embrace them and see them as good and growth for the relationship.  If the changes are more like challenges, try to reconnect with your partner.  In reconnecting with your partner, it will be important to stay present and future-focused. Try not to get too wrapped up around what the past was like. Try to focus more on what you each want for the present and future of your relationship.  Ensure that you each have input on this that feels forward-moving and like you are moving forward stronger than you were before. 

If your cons seem to outweigh the pros, you might consider leaving the relationship.  This can be such a difficult decision, but it is important to accept too many differences.  Trying to force something to work that the facts show you that it will not work can be very painful.  When in a relationship, we so often think more about our feelings than our facts.  However, when you are facing change, it is important to consider your feelings and make sure you are picking up on the facts.  Try to have empathy for the changes rather than to take them personally.  Doing so can hopefully help you two separate from the relationship in a healthy way.