What's the best way to recover from a breakup?

Hello Mae,

This can be difficult to navigate when you still have feelings for him. Do you want to be with him or do you miss the idea of you two together and the thought of being in a relationship with someone? If you don't mind doing some introspective work, my questions for you to reflect on would be:

1. The situation with the children, was it something that could have been worked on with better communication between the two of you?

2. Have you spent some time weighing the pros and cons of the relationship? 

3. What have you done for yourself in this past year for self-care and self-reflection? 

When we love someone we have to look at both sides of the pendulum and see what will benefit us and bring us closer to our goal or if it will bring us further away from our goal. You may also want to examine what you have done in the past year for self-care and take out time to check in with what you want in a relationship and how those dynamics look. Don't be too hard on yourself and if you both are still in communication, it may even be helpful to have a conversation about what a future looks like together. 

When comparing the current people that you are dating does the comparison match? We don't want to be comparing apples to oranges even though they still fall in the fruit category. Once you can get a really good grasp on the following above items then you may have a clear answer for yourself. 

So in short, the best way to recover from a break-up is to spend a little time with yourself and figure out what you want. If being in a relationship with him is what you want it will be harder to recover from that. You have to make up your mind if you want to move on then begin to take the steps to surround yourself with different experiences and like-minded people that may have the same goals as you. Trying new activities can also distract you and open your mind to meeting a new set of people that may not be on the dating apps. I hope this helps with figuring out what to do.