Which relationships are important to you why?

There are so many various relationships people experience throughout life that carry various forms of meaning. At birth, the most formative relationship between the ages of birth and 5 years is between a child and their mother. Fathers play an additional important role in their children’s lives and in the case of same-sex relationships, both parents have a huge influence. Parents are the first example of love, connection, care, consistency, and trust. This relationship plays a key role in ALL others and one of the reasons why many people spend time in treatment healing wounds from childhood so they can fully function as adults. As children age, their extended family members and engagement with nannies, preschool teachers, religious leaders, etc. all have influence. When school begins it is a large shift moving the main focus from parents to teachers and peers. Children typically want to please or at least get along with their teachers and even more importantly their peers especially the older they get. This is because the identity and esteem that had their strong beginnings with the parents are now exercised through relationships with peers. At school, in sports, and in various environments peers reflect commonalities, acceptance, or rejection and can be formative. Beyond grade school, high school romantic relationships are very important as teens manage their puberty and interest in others beyond friendship. Many people consider their college friends to be some of the most important because everyone comes to college on the same page not knowing anyone. So, in this case, it provides a second chance for friendships and long-lasting connections.

What relationships mean towards adulthood, and why

A very common and even painful experience as people age is figuring out and managing the relationships that are long-lasting. So many friendships fall away and for many people they blame themselves. Therapy is a good space to explore these feelings and actually realize that this natural ebb and flow allow space for people to grow professionally, travel, create families, and focus on the relationships that offer them the deepest and most meaningful connections. By mid-life, if you have 2-3 meaningful friendships, a few support people through worship, work, and your family, this is all that is needed beyond the acquaintance relationships of life. The most important relationships for people seem to be parents, well into adulthood, mentors, coaches, and consistent friends.