Why dating sucks?

For all genders and ages, dating can be a tumultuous task full of uncertainties and challenges.  If you haven’t met your partner through mutual friends or other situational environments, you may feel obligated to use dating services or online dating platforms to find someone.  This process is often exhausting and disappointing to many of its participants.

When we date, we visibly display our internal and external traits and qualities for people to evaluate.   There may be parts of you that you’ve hidden from others that resurface or insecurities specific to dating that have remained dormant in other friendships and family relationships.  Sometimes these scenarios can bring us face-to-face with things about ourselves that we have long forgotten or unsure about putting out to the world.  Dating opens us up to the possibility of rejection, which can feel incredibly vulnerable and scary.  The truth is, it’s almost inevitable that we will experience some type of rejection since it’s impossible to be compatible with everybody!

Finding someone compatible with your life and needs can also be a tricky process.  While some dating sites have measures to test compatibility, there can still be small (or big) nuances that get in the way of finding someone right for you.  It can take a lot of patience, time, and effort to determine whether another person has the qualities you need.  It can be even more difficult if you are unsure of what you want in a romantic relationship. 

Uncertainty is also a big piece of the dating world.  There are so many unknowns about who you will meet, how long the dating process will take, what it will feel like, how someone will treat you, etc.  The brain doesn’t like uncertainty because it’s unpredictable, so moving through this stage of dating can bring a lot of anxiety and apprehension.  It’s also true that dating can incite change if you find the “right” person—this can also bring anxiety as change is hard (even when it’s exciting). 

Although dating is hard and brings many challenges, sitting through the vulnerability without retreating into the safe zone could pay off.  Putting yourself out there can definitely be terrifying, but so is never finding love.  Take time to figure out what works best for your life—and if it’s dating, go for it!