Will couples therapy help?

Hello Demi,

I personally do both, individual and couples and depending on the people involved and the situation, I sometimes work with both people as individuals and then bring it back into couple work.

Having said that, each situation is unique and some people benefit from certain configurations while others do not. So it is really something I personally work with on a case by case basis.

Couples are comprised of individuals and what each person brings into the relationship impacts the couple. Often times, there is tremendous value no matter which configuration you choose as long as both participants are willing and ready to work on their own individually because that is where the growth happens and spills out into the relationship.

Examples would be where one person learns more about self-care and self-love and appreciation and then doesn't feel the same need to receive these types of affirmations from their partner.  It would become something extra and special to be able to ALSO receive them from our partner, rather than remain a necessity and or an expectation. 

This difference played out in a relationship can be huge in so many ways. If I feel I NEED something from another person, what happens within me changes dramatically depending on whether I do or do not receive it. My demeanor is different when I feel I require something as this puts me in a very different position than if I don't require it. 

I am stronger as an individual and I also do not need to be bolstered up by another person.  That becomes a bonus or something to appreciate and enjoy rather than something necessary. And this complete dynamic is then mirrored similarly in my partner.

I am with them and they are with me because we WANT to be with each other. We are two individuals bringing 100% of who we are to the other person into the relationship. The other way we are part of the 100% percent needing the other person to complete us.

Totally different outcome.

So absolutely.  Continue working on yourself and know that the stronger each of you becomes individually, that stronger version of yourself now is the person entering into this relationship each time the two of you come together.