Will therapy help me to learn to love myself and be happy alone?

Hello Nissa! Thank you for reaching out to BetterHelp with your question regarding how to be happy when not in a relationship. I truly believe that one of the most important relationships that you will have is the one that you have with yourself. That relationship can be grown and developed by spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself. I also feel that most therapists would agree that genuine happiness stems more from how you spend your time and your mindset/perspective than if you are in a relationship or not. While you are in a season of being single, I want to provide you with a couple of tips to help foster a healthier relationship with yourself.

1. The first tip is one regarding your mindset. I want you to recognize that all of your thoughts may not be facts. It is important to not have a mindset that consists of thoughts like, "I'm never going to find true love" or "I'm going to be single forever." I want you to think of your mind as a "thought producing machine." Its job is to produce thoughts all day long. When you notice yourself feeling sad, anxious, etc., stop and ask yourself what thought is causing me to feel this way. When you identify the thoughts, then ask yourself three follow-up questions: 1) Am I basing this thought on fact or feeling? 2) Is there any evidence to support this thought? 3) Is this thought benefiting or harming me? Stopping to question our thoughts like this can help us identify more helpful thoughts. Remember, just because you think it, does not make it true.

2. Strive to engage in meaningful activities and be present in the moment. According to researchers, things that contribute to happiness are social support, mindfulness, and meaningful activities. Find something that brings you joy and intentionally create time to do that. Surround yourself with people who are uplifting, encouraging, and support your goals. Create moments of stillness for yourself to be present. Practicing gratitude is a great way to increase mindfulness. For examples, research shows that identifying three things you are grateful for each day can decrease symptoms of depression.

Remember that improving the relationship with yourself requires being intentional. It does not/will not happen automatically. Show compassion. The kinder you are to yourself, the happier you will be.