Are happiness and contentment the same?

Many people come into therapy wanting to increase happiness in their lives, but most people can’t right away when asked to define it. Happiness is an emotion, and just like any other emotion, it is temporary in most cases. If you’ve ever bought a new car, think back to the excitement and happiness of picking it out. After a year or so goes by, it’s very unlikely that you still feel that amount of happiness about your new car.

Contentment can be a much better therapy goal. Contentment is long-lasting and is more like an overall effect that isn’t necessarily dependent on external factors. Contentment is about appreciating and liking things just as they are. It’s a feeling of being ok with things in whatever state they’re presently in. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have goals that you’re working toward but means that you’ll be ok regardless of the time it takes to reach a goal. It doesn’t mean that you don’t experience the lows that are a normal part of life, just that when you do, you return to contentment, that it’s there overall.

For some, contentment can be boosted by practicing gratitude for things as they are in the present. Happiness and contentment aren’t unrelated, and they aren’t at odds with one another. It is completely possible to be content and experience happiness. Some research indicates that those who are content experience more happiness.

If you’re looking to increase happiness or contentment or both, a gratitude practice may help. Try journaling 3 things each day that you’re grateful for. It’s also important to create time for doing things you enjoy. Research shows that purchases and efforts increase the time you have available to use in ways you enjoy increase happiness. Other research shows that experiences like travel or time with people you enjoy spending time with are more likely to bring longer-lasting happiness than purchase.

Working with a licensed counselor may be helpful. In counseling, you can define goals, process events that may contribute to unhelpful thinking and behavior patterns in the present, learn coping skills for uncomfortable emotions, and more.