How can I improve my self esteem?
Asked by Surrey
Answered
06/29/2022
It can be difficult when we compare ourselves to others, especially if we feel they are better than us in some ways. I think it's important to remember that we all have different strengths, and whilst someone may be a better singer etc there will be other strengths you have that they don't.
I also think it's easy to assume confidence in other people but in reality we can't see what's really going on underneath. Sometimes it's helpful to remember that everyone has their own doubts and insecurities no matter how confident they may seem on the outside. Our inner critic can tell us that it's just us who feels that way, that we're not good enough somehow and that others are better than us. But it's important not to listen to that critical voice as it's not true!
In my experience, self compassion is key to improving self esteem. I have seen people totally change the way they feel about themselves by talking to and treating themselves more compassionately. Counteract the critical voice with a comforting, reassuring voice. Ask yourself how you would talk to a friend and speak to yourself that same way. Think about what you value about yourself and what others value in you. Your boyfriend is with you for a reason, what qualities might he see in you? He may have paid your friend some attention tonight but that doesn't mean he doesn't also value you. Perhaps you could speak to him about how you felt and let him know that you would like some attention from him as well.
Self acceptance is also important. We all have aspects of ourselves we don't like or want to improve on, but accepting ourselves as flawed but ok helps. Also remember that we are all human and that we are all flawed, not just you. None of us are walking around feeling good and confident all the time with perfect lives, it just doesn't exist!
Remind yourself of your strengths and good qualities whenever you are tempted to compare yourself unfavorably to others. Make a list and put it somewhere you can see it every day. You are good enough!
