How can I improve my self esteem?

Our self esteem is often affected by our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind generates thoughts based on our past interactions with people whether it be things they've said to us, non verbal interactions, or experiences we have had. Based on those things, our mind generates thoughts about ourselves. When we are newborns we don't wake up hating ourselves or thinking we are overweight. You start critiquing yourself when someone makes a remark about our appearance or we see on tv that fitting in a size zero and being 6 foot tall makes you a supermodel. 

So, now that you know how your subconscious mind works, it is important to figure out where yours comes from. Did someone in middle school make fun of your nose and now you think your face is ugly? Take some time to reflect on where it all started. Sometimes it can be hard to figure out where it originated and if that is the case I'd like you to ask yourself what your specific thoughts are that you have in regards to your self esteem. Write those very specific thoughts down. When you see those on paper you can begin to ask yourself why you think those things about yourself. Are there facts that support those comments? Often times there are not. To feel differently you will need to begin to THINK differently. Now that you've been able to identify the thoughts that you're having, the next step is to challenge them. For example, if my thought is "I'm such a screw up. I can't do anything right!" I can challenge that with, "Okay you made a mistake in this moment but there are plenty of things you've done right (and list those things)." 

I also find that the people, places, and things that we have in our life influence the way we think, feel, and act. If you are hanging out with people who always talk negatively about you or themselves then you're more than likely going to start doing the same thing. If you hang out at the bar vs. the gym, again you are going to have a different feel to life. If you watch drama movies in your down time or spend all your time working then I challenge you to instead start listening to self development podcasts or spending time focusing on self care. All of these things will make a huge change in the way you think about yourself, as well as how you feel about yourself. 

Lastly, you've spent a big part of your life feeling negatively about your self. Please remember that all of these things require constant practice. Don't expect perfection because your self conscious will always try to bring you back to believing you're worthless. When you notice you're resorting back to old habits just take a minute to reread this message and get back to challenging those thoughts and implementing healthy habits into your life. Best of luck on your journey to being the best version of YOU!