How do I explain to my hispanic parents that college is affecting my mental health ?

Nina, I was sent your 'question' and agreed to respond as it appears you are seeking advice on how to address your needs along with the unrealistic expectations you are experiencing. I placed question in quotes as it is not actually a question for an answer, but rather seeking advice. I am reluctant to provide advice, however, I will provide guidance which will allow you to find your own answer.

As a person in this world I have experienced strain, conflict and turmoil when I was attempting to please others which was not in alignment with myself. For example: studying a subject family members guided me into instead of what I was interested in learning. However, it is difficult to be in alignment with yourself if you do not really know yourself. I think a great place to begin this journey is by reading "What Type Am I" written by Renee Barron. She breaks down the Meyers and Briggs personality traits into simple descriptions. She has a test which will help you identify your traits. With this you can begin to read about your personality type which will help you understand yourself:  how you interact with people, how you solve problems, how you understand the world around you, how you form opinions, how you structure your activities and the inherent limitations in your personality. No one is perfect, to be human is to be perfectly imperfect. You may find after reading this book you are able to identify your family members traits which will uncover the barriers in communication. This will help you in how to communicate yourself well to your family members, including your parents.

You made a point to identify your ethnicity. I am not of hispanic heritage so I am not going to pretend I understand the impact of this fact. Based on how I interpreted your description, it appears your family expects you to attain higher education. The expectation is for you to have a career and be financially stable in the ability to support yourself. These expectations are that of a typical American family. As parents our number one priority in our job in raising children is to make sure they have the ability to survive without us. The longer we live the more we experience life with its unexpected joys, unexpected problems, unexpected pain, and just okay days in between. We want our children to be equipped to manage these situations well. I think in this goal, we forget to also teach our children we cannot control life circumstances. The best we can do is learn how to respond to these situations with rational thought and good judgment. Your parents want the best for you. Despite what they may say and how they deliver the messages to you, they really do love you. The fact they place this pressure on you is proof of the love they have for you.

In combining all of this together, approach the conversation from a place of knowing they love you, and want the best for you. Identify where the misunderstandings between all of you tend to be so you can express yourself in a way your parents will understand you. You are asking them to allow you to be yourself, which you are still finding out. Going to college is not the only way to attain a fulfilling career to support yourself. For example, my spouse learned a trade which he loved. Because it was something he was interested in he found it enjoyable and liked working. "If we do what we love we do not have to work a day in our lives." I do not recall who said that, but it is true. Not that it can't be draining, or some days completely frustrating. This happens because of situations, expectations, or other pressures for performance which has nothing to do with the actual work itself. Once you identify your type through Renee Barron you can also take quizzes available on line for free to see if it matches with what you got through Renee Barron. It is called Meyers and Briggs personality inventory, or Meyers and Briggs personality types. Entering this into your web browser will result in a variety of links. Once you have your personality type you can put those initials into your web browser. It will provide a lot of information including career paths which may help guide you into a more fulfilling direction.

May you enjoy your journey of life and discover all the various things which make you who you are. I am hoping this was helpful in guiding you.

Respectfully, Heather Johnston LCSWR from New York State