How to feel wholesome from within yourself?

For a long time, I seek validation from external sources and people. I find it hard to find happiness from doing things for myself. I am not sure how to be happy without needing other people to partially do that for me.
Asked by Kat
Answered
12/06/2021

Hello! I am glad that you reached out! I am sorry to hear that you have struggled with self-esteem issues and have relied on validation from others. Professional support can be beneficial to assist you with correcting  any painful negative beliefs that you may have about yourself.  Therapy can assist with  building your self-worth. Talking about your thoughts and feelings with a supportive person can often make you feel better. It can be very healing, in and of itself, to voice your worries or talk about something that’s weighing on your mind. And it feels good to be listened to—to know that someone else cares about you and wants to help. While it can be very helpful to talk about your problems to close friends and family members, sometimes you need help that the people around you aren’t able to provide. When you need extra support, an outside perspective, or some expert guidance, talking to a therapist or counselor can help. While the support of friends and family is important, therapy is different. Therapists are professionally-trained listeners who can help you get to the root of your problems, overcome emotional challenges, and make positive changes in your life. You don’t have to be diagnosed with a mental health problem to benefit from therapy. Many people in therapy seek help for everyday concerns: relationship problems, job stress, or self-doubt, for example. Others turn to therapy during difficult times, such as a divorce. But in order to reap its benefits, it’s important to choose the right therapist—someone you trust who makes you feel cared for and has the experience to help you make changes for the better in your life. A good therapist helps you become stronger and more self-aware. Finding the right therapist will probably take some time and work, but it’s worth the effort. The connection you have with your therapist is essential. You need someone who you can trust—someone you feel comfortable talking to about difficult subjects and intimate secrets, someone who will be a partner in your recovery. Therapy won’t be effective unless you have this bond, so take some time at the beginning to find the right person. It’s okay to shop around and ask questions when interviewing potential therapists. As you start to resolve your past and current issues you are more likely to gain clarity on life decisions, build your self-worth and be on a path to a healthier future. I wish you luck as you move ahead with seeking support!