How to stop food and body focus

Thanks for listening. I'm here because I have been feeling uncomfortable with my body for 2 years now. During that time I have lost 13 kg and feel like it might be slipping into an eating disorder/sports addiction.
I am a perfectionist and always feel like I can do better at stuff. Pushing myself - being too hard sometimes and caring too much about what other might think.

I realized how my thinking revolves around food and how often I check my body in the mirror.
Do you have any tips on where to start?

Thank you!
Asked by maj.lie

Hi there, 

Thank you for sharing. You have done well in recognizing that this way of being is potentially becoming unhealthy for you. This is a complex issue, but essentially it sounds like the perfectionism and weight loss is about control. So maybe you could start off by thinking about other areas of your life, such as relationships and work, etc, and see if anything there feels out of control. Likewise, thinking back over your life and childhood and exploring what felt safe and secure and what perhaps felt more chaotic or unstable. Food is so often used to help us manage emotions and to feel in control, or to reflect how out of control we feel. You have lost a lot of weight but do not say if you are now at your target weight or if you have gone too far. However, regardless, you sound unhappy with your body. I wonder how you feel about yourself as a person. Do you have low self esteem? Sometimes if people don't feel good about themselves, this is channeled into how they feel about their bodies, and appearance and weight becomes the focus. It may be helpful to look at what is going well in your life and what you do well. You could make a list of your achievements. These do not need to be huge things, but day to day things, like helping someone out, or even just smiling at a stranger and making them feel seen. You could also think about all the wonderful things your body does for you every day, like keeping you alive, moving you around, digesting food, breathing, and so on. You also mention exercise addiction. I don't know what or how much you are doing but if you feel it is excessive perhaps you could set yourself a small goal here, such as taking an extra rest day, or swapping out a high intensity work out for a long walk instead. Remember that rest and recovery are an important and essential part of any exercise and training program. Hope this helps get you started.

Warm regards


(Psychodynamic, Counselor, CBT, therapist)