I want to make friends and I want to focus

Hi, thank you for your question and the follow up information. From what you wrote, it sounds like you are preoccupied with what other people think, and it's likely affecting your self-worth and self-esteem. Many factors impact our self-esteem, but definitely comparing ourselves to others and feeling inadequate can make a big difference.

Something that I talk about with clients and try to remember myself is that when I compare myself to others, I am comparing myself to what I think is going on in their life. For example, a lot of people put what's called a highlight reel on their social media, only their best and most fulfilling moments, but it does not represent how their life is actually going. For that reason, I think it's important to you limit your exposure to social media if it all possible.

Another thing to think about is when did you start feeling this way? What do you feel is making you preoccupied with what other people think? A different way of looking at it is comparing yourself to where you were before, and as long as you're making progress, no matter how slow, that is the important thing. It's also imperative to remember that other people have not been through the same things as you have, so comparing yourself is pretty counterproductive. 

I'm sorry to hear that you have had some social difficulties with friends and having a boyfriend or girlfriend. It can be a struggle when there is not a support system in place, so I hope you have some family that is supportive of you since you are currently struggling with other relationships. One thing that can help with social aspects is getting out and doing new hobbies, it's a good way to meet new people. For example, if you enjoy reading, joining a book club. Volunteering is also a good way to meet other people that will likely have similar viewpoints as you do. That can also help with the feelings of loneliness, which can also affect your self-esteem.

Thank you for your question, good luck and take care!