What are some approaches for regaining self-confidence?

Over the last 12 months, I experienced a series of failures at work. This has made me lose a lot of confidence in myself. I think I need to look for a new position to get a fresh start, and find something that is a better fit, since this job is clearly not a good fit (evidenced by my failures). However, I am finding it hard to have enough confidence in myself to put myself out there to do the networking and “sell myself”- which is needed to find a new position (my profession and position is one in which there are commonly not job postings- positions are found through networks.). Any thoughts?
Asked by Raggedy Ann



You have taken a huge step in seeking services with BetterHelp and you pose a great question! I understand that you are struggling with feeling confident as a result of your work experiences and feeling this way is not atypical when unsure as to whether the job is a good fit for you. You could always review your skillsets to remind yourself what it is that you have to offer, or even practice some mock interviews.

There are various approaches that can be taken to assist in working to increase self-confidence. I would say that it is important to have the courage and dedication to work toward increasing your self-confidence as the first step, followed by other small steps which ultimately contribute to the overall increase in how you feel about yourself. It is important to remember that small steps of progress are achievements to the desired outcome of becoming more self-confident. Set small, realistic goals for self-care and self-encouragement.

You can start taking small steps by being intentional in focusing on the positive and your strengths rather than magnifying the weaknesses or mistakes. Mistakes are to be learned from to help us in the future; we all make them. You have the power to create intentional positive thoughts about things that you would like to see change in your life, thereby building upon your confidence by shifting your focus onto the positive. Positive affirmations are very helpful in creating the intentional positive thoughts. It may be helpful to start each day with a positive affirmation to meditate on, and focus on for that particular day or even for an entire week if that is more helpful to you (affirmations can be created by you or you can find lists of them online). Whenever you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, remember your daily or weekly affirmation to shift your thoughts back to the positive. 

In building self-confidence and self-esteem, it is important to remember that no one person is perfect and we each have strengths within us; which is more than likely why you were able to obtain the job to begin with. Sit with yourself and write down the things that you do well, have had positive experiences with in the past, or simply things you enjoy.  Try to dedicate some time to acknowledging and doing those particular things each day, even if for only a short time. This will also help bring you back to yourself and working toward internal transformation.

As you're doing these things be sure to remember that it is important to celebrate even those small achievements that contribute to the larger goal or outcome. Some progress is better than no action toward progress.


I really hope that I was able to help facilitate some awareness for you on steps that you can take to increase your self confidence.