Why do I always feel like I’m not good enough and how do I fix it?

I work 12-14 hours a day and my boss is always complaining about me not doing good. I’m in sales and when I have a great day he’s always saying I should have got more but not in a polite way. My girlfriend is constantly saying I should do this more or do that more. My parents are the same so I just wanna know what I can do to fix this mentality and become better.
Asked by Turbo
Answered
12/06/2021

Hi there! Feeling like you are not good enough often stems for deep-rooted issues.  Sometimes we have hidden core beliefs that are running the show and we don't even realize it. I would encourage you to work on becoming more aware of these beliefs so that you can work on challenging them. 

It is normal to want others to like you but often times we put our self-worth in the hands of others. In your case, how your family, girlfriend, or boss feels about you decides how you feel about you. This can leave feeling like you can't win because you can't make them happy.  Sometimes we are so busy trying to please everyone else that we forget to really take care of ourselves. 

I would encourage you to start loving and accepting yourself for who you are. Try talking to yourself like you would someone you love. Sometimes we are the biggest bully to ourselves. When you catch yourself judging yourself negatively, change up your inner dialogue to something supportive instead.

Next you have to let go of trying always have the approval of others. Decide what makes you happy and live that life. You will never be able to make everyone happy.  Focus on your strengths and what you bring to the table. You can do daily activities such as keeping a gratitude journal and practicing mindfulness to help increase awareness of your strengths. 

Don't get caught in the trap of comparing yourself to others. This is almost always destructive. Instead compare yourself to yourself. Looking at home much you have grown from the past or how much progressive you have made. 

Lastly. make sure you are surrounding yourself with supportive people.  Sometimes we are in toxic relationships and don't even realize it.  If you have supportive people in your life they will encourage you to be the best version on of yourself without belittling you. Sometimes our loved ones are telling us things out of love and it really is our own negative thinking that leaves us feeling not good enough. 

I hope that this information has been helpful to you. It is important that you know that YOU ARE ENOUGH! 

(LPC, MHSP)