How can I be confident when everything seems to go wrong?

Covid has been tough for me and everyone else but I've always been struggling to be more confident. I know adult life comes with a lot of problems and worries, how do I live with them? Mainly job seeking struggles and if not, learning to accept the current situation. Thank you.
Asked by Dream
Answered
11/29/2021

Thanks for taking the time to be so vulnerable and honest about how you are feeling at this present moment. As you alluded to in your question, we are certainly living through strange times, that impact us individually as well as economically. I do want to point out that I believe that being confident and learning to accept are two separate and different things, but also tied to one another. I think before we can accept anything, we do have to pause and acknowledge what it is is that is happening to us, and around us- there are feelings that need to be verbalized and acknowledged. There are tears to be shed, and grief that needs to be expressed. Oftentimes people equate with acceptance without acknowledgment. To put it succinctly, I would say that confidence is an extension of love, self-love that is. I think when we can again pause and acknowledge that we are good, good enough and that our current circumstances are a reflection of society letting us down vs letting down our own self, we can begin to extend kindness, patience, compassion, and love to a self that is hurting and not feeling cared for. I believe that when there is some healing of the self, the confidence will return. The lack of confidence protects us from getting hurt once again or even more than we may be currently feeling. When we can fully acknowledge the pain and the hurt, we will be able to become unstuck and move forward. Moving forward is always a radical act of being authentic, vulnerable, and courageous, despite all that could go wrong moving forward is the brave face that is supported by the compassion and love that we have for ourselves. The resilience and fortitude to persevere come from that foundation of knowing ourselves, being gentle with ourselves, and the radical act of self-love that helps us to continue to press forward despite setbacks or disappointments. Hope is contagious, and I hear in your question that hope is not lost. I can also only assume that there have been moments of being resilient in challenging times- so I wonder what has helped in the past? How did you get to overcome challenges in the past? Who the people in your life that can remind you of who you are? Be honest, be brave, and be kind to yourself- you got this! Be easy.

(LICSW)