How do I find a balance between protecting my happiness and not dealing with a situation?

It is hard sometimes to know what the right balance is between addressing issues but not getting overwhelmed by them so that they are affecting your happiness. If you don't deal with things at all, they will eventually build up causing stress and anxiety, but if you obsessively keep worrying about things over and over it will have the same effect. Neither is healthy and so balance is key. 

The best thing to do is to try and take a step back when faced with an issue and try to look at it objectively. You can do this by asking yourself questions such as 'is this a fact or a feeling?' Quite often we mistake feelings for facts because our mind Is good at convincing us of this. Separating facts from feelings can really help us when we are feeling worried about a situation.

Another question you can ask yourself is 'what would somebody else's perspective be?' This can help you to take a step back from the issue to consider how somebody else might perceive it. Might other people have a different interpretation of the worry? This can often give us a clearer picture of the stress or situation.

You can also ask yourself 'is this black or white or is the reality more complicated?' Quite often things aren't clearcut and it is not obviously one thing or another. Recognizing this can help us put the issue or worry into perspective. 

'Am I catastrophizing?' is another question you can ask yourself. Are you thinking of the worst case scenario and if so how likely is this to actually happen? If it did happen how would you deal with it? What is more likely to happen?

To help put the situation into perspective you can ask yourself would this matter in one week, in one month, in one year? Things that seem urgent and pressing now may not seem that way with the passing of time. Again this puts the worry or situation into a clearer perspective. 

What is the evidence for this thought or against it? Could I be misinterpreting the evidence? Am I looking at all the evidence or just what supports my thought? Quite often sitting down and actually examining the factual evidence can help with gaining a clearer perspective on the issue. You can also ask yourself am I thinking this thought out of habit or is there factual evidence to support it?

Another question to ask yourself is did someone pass this thought or belief to me and if so are they a reliable source? Quite often our deep rooted beliefs are passed down to us from other people such as a parent. Revcognizing this can help distinguish between what is a real worry and what isn't, what belongs to us and what actually belongs to someone else that we can let go of. 

If you go through these questions each time you are faced with a worry or difficult situation it will really help you with finding the balance you are looking to find.