How to be more compassionate

Hi,

You're right, being a 24/7 caregiver is exhausting work, even though it is for a loved one.  There are lots of Facebook groups with people who are going through very similar issues, and just like with group therapy work, you learn a lot from those people.  It's also a safe place to vent.  Maybe reach out and see if you can find those groups or maybe even a support group in your area.  BetterHelp also has Groupinars that may fit your needs. 

There are coping skills to learn that would be beneficial in this situation.  Learning to control your anger means learning to recognize the physical sensations, the emotional and mental sensations, before you become angry is the key to not getting angry but instead reminding you to take a few minutes and compose yourself before doing a task for your husband. 

Don't be ashamed to ask for help.  Feeling resentment may result in a lot of grief and shame that carries along with you.  You're only human.  You have to take care of yourself so that you're able to take care of your husband.  Your husband may also be feeling guilt because you are in this situation.  You're still newlyweds and now he is dependent on you taking care of him and I'm sure that's hard for him to come to grips with.  Depression and anxiety both can exhibit the symptoms you mentioned in your question and introduction.  This is hard for both of you.  If there's supportive family don't be afraid to let them know that you are struggling.  They would probably rather know so that he is well cared for and so that you are also able to give him the help that he needs and that you are not overwhelmed. 

A therapist could work with you one one one on some of the depressive symptoms you are exhibiting and also assess to see if it could also be anxiety.  It is like the plane instructions of putting the mask on yourself before you try to help someone else.  You can't be of help if you're passed out due to lack of oxygen.  Be kind to yourself.

Susan