How to calm myself down when having issues with constant feeling of anxiety.

Hello, 

Thank you for your question. It sounds like you're having a really hard time at the moment and feelings of anxiety are really overwhelming and leading to concerns that you may end up in another depressive episode and that sounds like its really worrying you. From your question it sounds like you're feeling that your childhood experiences may be linked to how you're feeling now and impacting you.

In terms of calming yourself, it's a complicated question which for me to give any answers in depth would require a deeper exploration of your circumstances and childhood and how these have affected you now as an adult. One thing that I would suggest is taking some time to think about why you are people pleasing and what this means to you. When we are people pleasing we are generally living for others and not ourselves and this can lead to us feeling unhappy and anxious.

It might be helpful to take some quiet time to sit down and reflect on your priorities and what you want to achieve rather than meeting other peoples' needs all the time. This could be a difficult and challenging exercise and your therapist can support you with this and hep you with any challenges that might come up for you as a result of this.

It also sounds like maybe you're worried about others judging you and maybe not feeling good enough and as you're struggling with feeling tearful and anxious in conversation and this may come from feeling like you're not meeting their needs and expectations of you. It might be helpful to think of other times where this has happened and what led up to this. Understanding why we feel a certain way and what triggers it for us can help us to move forward from those difficult feelings, in the future and take more control over our emotions.

I would suggest booking in some sessions with your therapist to explore these topics at depth and length so that you can get to know what's happening for you and develop helpful coping mechanisms that work well for you.