How to control my emotions?

Hi Ky,

Hope this message finds you well. I am glad you were able to reach out to a counselor, it takes strength and courage to do so. In response to your question, how do you control your emotions? One of the biggest components about emotions and something to keep in mind is that emotions are not fact. They come and go, fluctuate, and can be one way one moment and another in another moment. Trying to not take ownership of your emotions is something that is very beneficial, remember you are not your emotions. 

Having your emotions fluctuate can be a result of various things from anxiety, stress, trauma, mood/personality disorders and so on. it is difficult from this specific interaction to pin point why your specific mood is fluctuating as a whole. However, regardless of the reasons behind the emotions, there are various things you can to do help yourself feel more in control of your mood and emotions as a whole.

To start, from a more psychological perspective, one exercise which is of great benefit is frequent/daily meditation. I know many individuals struggle with concentrating or feel distracted at first therefore, I would always recommend going on youtube.com and looking for short meditation such as - 5 minute meditation for anxiety, or meditation for positive energy. There are a variety of videos you can browse through that are very helpful for you and that can aid in reducing the stress you feel on a day to day basis.

Furthermore, I would recommend active daily journaling. Journaling allows you to be more aware of your emotions and your thoughts. if you combine journaling with tracking your mood you will also be able to see a clearer idea/picture about what your triggers are and when you feel that increased emotion that you state you have a hard time controlling. There are many great apps you can find such as sanvelo or moodily, to help you track your mood and journal. 

Additionally, I would highly recommend going to self-compassion.org. this website is a great resource for individuals to learn ways to increase their self compassion, which studies show those who do have a greater ability at managing their moods as a whole and show more kindness towards themselves. On this site, there is a good activity specifically about writing yourself a letter as if you would be speaking to a friend. It instructs you to imagine your friend going through this same situation and asks you to think about how you would respond to them. This allows you to take a different perspective on your responses as well.

You can also look into coping strategies such as the 54321 method, which uses your 5 senses to ground yourself when you feel you're about to have an increase in emotions. There is also an exercise called, progressive muscle relaxation, with this exercise you will focus on a few body parts and tense them one at a time and releasing after a few seconds. You can start at your head and tense your eyes, then your mouth, traps, hands, glutes, calves, and feet. Doing so promotes "happy" hormones in your body which in turn reduces the stress and tension in your body as a whole. 

If possible, I would also recommend connecting with a therapist that can assist you in implementing these techniques a bit more throughly as well as process what is happening in your life as a whole that is leading to these negative emotions and feelings. I hope this information is of use to you and I truly wish you the best in your journey.

best wishes

Elizabeth Diaz, LPC, LMHC, CMHC, NCC