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What intentions or reasons can you see for learning to manage your stress? Think about your own reasons, not the reasons others have given you. For example, you might think that reducing stress will make your headaches go away or help you sleep better at night. You might think you could communicate better with your friends and family if you were more relaxed. Write your own goals on a piece of paper.

Now that you have created a list of goals, let go of them. You do not have to strive to accomplish them. Just begin these activities with an open mind and the thought that you might learn something interesting and helpful. What do you think of the idea of not striving to accomplish a goal? Have there been other times in your life when you felt you didn’t have to strive to accomplish something? Tell about one of these times.

At this time in your life, you are most likely going through the challenging process of figuring out your identity or who you are while trying to be the person your friends and family want you to be. This is likely to cause you additional stress. The more you learn about who you truly are, who you want to be, and what is most important to you, the better equipped you will be to cope with stress that comes from trying to meet others’ expectations of you. You can begin to learn more about who you are by asking yourself, What is my purpose? What is important to me in my life right now?

• Is your purpose mostly about one area of your life? Or is it a balance that includes such areas as career, family, friends, and relationships, among others?
• Did you come up with anything you had not thought of before?
• Do you want to change any part of your life? If so, what?
• Of the parts that you want to change, which can you change? Which parts are out of your control?
• How are your friends’ views of you similar to your own?  
• How are they different? 
• Would you like your friends to see you differently? If so, what would you want them to see differently?
• How are your family members’ views of you similar to your own?  
• How are they different?
• Would you like your family members to see you differently? If so, what would you want them to see differently?

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