I’m 21 and never felt so alone and the stress of uni work is killing me

Hi Ali. I am so sorry you are feeling this way.

Going to university can be quite an overwhelming experience for many young people. So, in that sense you are probably not alone. There will be others feeling like you.

I don't know if you are living far from home or not but it is really important that you try to reach out to someone that you know. You may think that you don't want to burden them with the way you are feeling but it is important that you at least let them know that you are struggling at the moment and could do with some help.

You could also approach one of your course tutors. Tell them you are struggling with the work, or maybe ask for some advice on actually doing the work.

The key here is just talking. Not keeping it all bottled up inside you.

In fact just by reaching out here you have already taken the first step.

And as for girlfriends, well I understand that it can be difficult when you want to make a deeper connection with someone but they don't seem to want the same thing. Maybe for now it is better just to focus on building friendships. If you have any interests you could join one of the university societies. It is a good way to meet people.

Take time out to be kind to yourself.

I often suggest to people not to over focus on their thought processes. We often get lost so much in our thoughts that we forget they are just thoughts. They are not real. We don't have to believe them. 

Remember the last time, for example, you had an argument with someone and you spent the rest of the day or evening going over and over it in your mind.

It's as if you are still having the argument. But, obviously, it is over. It's the past. You can't change it, so why waste time reliving it?

Of course I know you think it is easy for me to say all of this but it is you that has to do it.

But like I said you already made the first step by writing this. And there are people here (including me) who can help you more.

I hope this has helped, and I hope you can get through this difficult time in your life.

You are so young, and I am sure things can get better.